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I want to thank my regular readers for sticking it out with me. I do appreciate it. It's so nice to know there is someone out there reading what I have to spew. I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Let's put 2009 to rest this blue moon Eve. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well Everybody!

I started this post on Boxing Day (12/26). I have been feeling like crying lately, but unable to do it. An ennui has overcome me. It sucks. I blame MS for this - this lack of spirit, of waning energy, of memories of good years gone by, this encompassing wistfulness. I'm sliding into depression. This is what it feels like. Now it's 12/28. Depression is a strange beast. I can recognize it now, and so will start taking my Zoloft again. It doesn't take much to re-elevate my seratonin levels, so I will keep sharing with DH, as he does need them more than I do. FWIW, my Rx is written so that it's enough for the two of us if I stick with taking 50mg which I didn't. Here is a meme I picked up over at Letters from a Hill Farm. Write the first line of the first post of each month of 2009; see what patterns, if any, emerge. I got one purchase, two post-writing-gap apologies, two awards, a fireworks, an apology for a mis-statement of fact, Radagast lisence came due, not...

Yes, I know it's getting lighter now, and I am very happy for that, but I have to remind myself that along with being the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year - and thus the longest night - this is the first day of Winter, and Winter brings with it cold, often wet, weather... and SNOW. I have a love/hate relationship with snow. I love to watch it, but I hate to be out in it anymore. It is one more thing that MS has taken away from me; my inability to move well keeps me from enjoying SNOW! No snow angels for this one anymore - if I got down on the ground to make one, there I'd be - my own three dimensional snow angel. I could flap my arms to make wing impressions, but my angel wouldn't have much of a robe, I'm afraid, as my legs would not cooperate for that. I look out my window at the sparrows and chickadees eating from the feeder. They are bickering, and also feeding off the ground. Because we have kitties in residence, DH put some thorny rose branches beneat...

There are things I wanted to get done today that didn't get done. I overslept, and I have a persistent headache, not a migraine, but a dull thud. And my head feels thick, like congested sinuses or something. Plus, my left leg has been jumping ever since I got dressed. Must take another baclofen . Yes, I know ... it sucks to be me right now. I didn't get out to the drugstore or to Great Harvest today, even though I did manage to call them before I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep this morning. GH will be making their Yulekake today and Friday, and Tuesday - Thursday next week. So next week I'll go thatta way on my errand running. We put off grocery shopping using my headache as an excuse, so that will happen tomorrow. Tonight, after I post this, I think I'll watch A (you'll poke your eye out!) Christmas Story and write Christmas cards. Occasionally I can multitask. That will at least be one more thing to cross off my list. Good Night, TTYL and Be We...

I feel like it's the middle of the afternoon but it's really nearly 8 AM. That's what I get for staying up all night (well, with some light dozing in my chair) and finally going to bed after 1:00 PM! I lead a crazy life, yet not. Last Wednesday, I stayed up all night as I had a lunch engagement with the girls at Noon, and I knew there was no way I would get up at 10:30 after five or six hours of sleep. So I did the next best thing: I stayed awake. I felt fine! And it has screwed me up all the days since! Are you tired of hearing about my weird sleep patterns yet? I should think you would be. So on to other news. Lynn got home from Ghana without problems. She came over Friday to tell me that instead of coming to live here, a friend of hers in Port Angeles rented a cabin for her just North of Sequim . It's a one-room cabin, and she was moving the next day. Needless to say I am disappointed, as she never gave this living situation a chance, not having stayed for more than...

I have pictures of the rest of the pets in and around the house. This is Nishita . She is one solid little love bug. She is an outdoor (mostly) kitty, because she just never got the hang of using the litter box, and that was not okay with us. She has a very nice little setup on the covered patio, however, and seems quite content with it. She has lovely green eyes which the camera flash washed out. And this is our Beulah, doing what she does best. She lives for food, and this is how she spends the rest of her day. At this point (nearly 15 years old), she is blind. She is a nice dog, but really doesn't have a lot to offer. She's not very smart, and not particularly affectionate, unless you're handing out treats! Other than that, as Elvis put it, "She ain't nothin ' but a Hound Dog, cryin ' all the time." What can I say? One day I got "Basset Consciousness" and my car drove me to the pound intent on getting a Basset Hound when I was heading f...

We treated ourselves to a Black Friday Christmas bargain present - a GE A1235 camera for less than $70. We just missed out on a slightly better camera, but Oh Well, beggars can't be choosers! So without further ado, I will present to you two of my little precious-es: This is big brother, Rajah. He is the sweetest cat I've ever owned. Really smart, too! And this is Purnima. She's our beauty; a little clumsy, but very loving. And this I received from Herrad today, well, yesterday, but we are on opposite schedules on opposite sides of the globe, so ... whenever. Thanks Herrad, I heart your blog too! Soon we will get pictures of Nishita, and of course Beulah. Once done I will post. Good night, TTYL, and Be Well Webster JC: See what I mean about Raj and Purnima being so similar to Ashton and Jasmine?

I had a pleasant Thanksgiving at my cousin's; the only downside to that is: no leftovers, except for what was left of my jello dish. It was delicious, and simple. I made a raspberry Jello to which I added about 2/3 can of whole berry cranberry sauce and two heaping serving spoons of crushed pineapple, then added some whipped cream when it was partially set. I'm glad to get to snack on that. I went to bed at nearly 10 AM Friday and got up and dressed almost 12 hours later! I guess it was my down day after a busy one. I've been awake all night, fooling around on the laptop, and it is just dawn outside now. In a little while I'll take a brief nap, then take a shower, and sometime between 11 and Noon I'll pick up a friend from Seattle who is coming to visit for the day, ostensibly to help me do some purging in my bedroom, but I imagine that will only take a short while, and we will visit and perhaps have some wine or something. DH mentioned making dinner! so we'll s...

I found out today that one of my nieces (on DH's side) has moved to Trout Lake, Washington to join a group called ECETI ( Enlightened Contact with ExtraTerrestrial Intelligence), and is, as she tells her Mom, "happier than I have ever been"). M y niece has joined a cult! That's news, no? Now, as far as my limited web research skills can find out, it is not perverted or sex-crazed; it is just a bunch of people who follow the leader . . . James Gilliland, and live in an area known for UFO sightings. Mr. Gilliland believes that these extraterrestrials are trying to communicate with us, and have communicated with him. What is the difference between a cult and a 'religion'? What's the difference between spiritual beings with whom one communicates through prayer, and extraterrestrial beings with whom one communicates through, um, er, I'm not sure? What is the down side of this? The down side I think resides in CaZekiel . org - The Self-Mastery Earth In...

Tonight I watched two Netflix movies that have been sitting here for several days, The Bucket List with Jack Nickolson and Morgan Freeman, and Bobby written, produced, directed, and starring Emilio Esteves and many others including Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher , William H Macy, Heather Graham, Martin Sheen, Helen Hunt and more. I wasn't expecting to like this, but I did. It was edited seamlessly with actual footage of Robert Kennedy's run for the 1968 presidential election. It was really quite riveting. So, it was a movie and nachos kind of evening; really rainy and windy outside, cozy and comfy inside. It just occurred to me that we are having another record breaking year for rain in November which makes me wonder how much of that rain is ending up in the inside of our garage . . . which has a roof that is very old and leaky and is in need of replacing. We have the shingles, just not the gumption to get it done. (That's the royal we, that is. It's DH's job...

Here it is, 6:35 AM and I am postponing going to bed. It's crazy, because I am tired. But I just finished crocheting my second hat, a beret this time, and then started playing online Solitaire. I am just like my Mother in that regard. She would stay up really late at night, playing Solitaire at the dining room table. Yesterday, I started reading The Case of he Missing Servant by Tarquin Hall. It takes place in modern Delhi, India. The first chapter was good, and I hope the rest is as well. Just so you know, I'm not ignoring you, I read your blogs faithfully, but I am trying to do some other things as well. This is the week for that, it's rainy, windy and cold; typical November weather. Thanks Herrad for the award. I'll put it up after I'm done writing, which is now. Good night, TTYL , and Be Well

I realize I haven't written for awhile, like not since before Halloween, which is only a week ago but seems like longer. It's just that I haven't had anything to say. My brother brought over a homemade pumpkin pie on Halloween. I told him if he would do that I would give him some Johnsonville Brats that I had frozen, only to discover that they have MSG in them and so Lynn can't eat them. I was counting on her to cook them in a frittata for us, but finding that that wasn't going to happen I offered them to my brother in exchange for a pie. He makes a good pumpkin pie. So we were a little dessert heavy last week with the apple crisp and a pie to eat. They were both quite good, and now I'm wishing we had something else homemade and tasty to nosh on. Alas, there's nothing made, and nothing in the house to make anything with. We definitely need to go grocery shopping. I got a couple Land's End things I ordered: a mock turtleneck and a cotton cable knit cardig...

I am going to do it. Right now I am going into the damned kitchen and start peeling those apples and make that apple crisp. Right. Now. Later, gaters. NO PEEKING! I'm Working here! It's taken me just under two hours and the apple crisp is in the oven. I'll let you know... how it turns out after I get to eat some. I have had a bowl, with a scoop of vanilla Ice cream, and it was........ delicious! Next time (probably after hell freezes over and melts again), I will add some craisins and perhaps a handful of chopped pecans or walnuts. Get some antioxidants in there to balance the sweet. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well

I can be such a dimwit. I do things to my computer that I KNOW I shouldn't do, but I see something and recognize the intrinsic cuteness of it, and then I remember that the Borg were right: Resistance is futile. Which was why, after I got a really cute E-mail from JC today telling me that I had won her "pay it forward" that I went on automatic pilot and said Gee, this is really cute! I want me some pretty e-mails like this, Here I'll just click this little ole "install" button and get me some. So I did. Then I remembered that I am no longer the brightest bulb on the tree and that when it comes to all things computer: Simple is Best. So, I decided to "uninstall" the cutest little e-mail program, and reverted to dimwit status. DH, however, came to my rescue, and I am happily back to my Mozilla Thunderbird program which works just fine, indeed. K.I.S.S. I have been working on re-learning to crochet, so I got out some old acrylic yarn to practice wit...

Today was a much better day. I think the Soly did the best it could; I'm up and about a little better, and my left leg is staying, well, up when I need it. I didn't get much done today, even after getting a comfortable night's sleep. I did wake up at 9:30 AM when the phone rang, then DH's alarm went off, then I was awake so I thought I might as well just get out of bed. I didn't get so far as the apple crisp yet, though. Tomorrow has to be a major laundry day, so if I can get DH to work on that, I can get to work on peeling some apples. Friend Lynn returned after a week spent up the coast for a funeral, and visiting family. She came in and made us some veggie spaghetti, took a nap, watched a movie, and went over to another friend's house where she hopes to get a better night's sleep [her bed is over there, and the one we have upstairs is too soft]. Plus, now that she has her Passport and Visa back from San Francisco, she's got to get ready and packed an...

It was very different this time around. Day one I came home tired; Day two, I napped and then woke up, but was moving better - especially my draggy left leg; day three, not too bad as I was able to stay awake all evening reading blog stuff and watching some TV; day four, today, I woke up at 11:30, took a shower and dried my hair, and it was time to get to my appointment. I'm always wiped out for awhile after a shower - (I probably keep the water on too warm just because it feels good, and we all know what that can do) - then went in and was able to use the same vein for four days consecutively. In my left hand! I don't think I've ever done that before. At first it was a little uncomfortable, but my DH asked for a warm pack and that did the trick. The extra heat must've dilated my vein just enough to make things flow better. BUT, so far today I still feel tired. I'm not so much sleepy as I just don't feel like I've just finished four days of the "good st...

I've been having fun going in for SoluMedrol treatments. I was starting to drag my left leg, my balance was off, I felt weaker -- you know the drill. So I started Friday on a four day course of a gram a day. I felt stronger last night, after sleeping most of the evening away. I usually get wired, but not this time. I usually get all hot and flushed, but not this time. I usually can't sleep at night, but I've been sleeping okay, considering all the napping I've been doing. But the best thing is is that it seems to be giving me a little bit more energy, and my left leg is not dragging. That's what I wanted, and so far, that's what I have gotten. Let's hope it just keeps building, as it should, for awhile. ~And now for that apple crisp. Be Well, P.S. I am falling behind on the ole hug meter. Try not to forget, mm'kay? Thanks loads.

Today was a good day. DH and I hashed out his issue and of course it was a (to me) small thing, not far from a misunderstanding that a simple question or two from him could have cleared right up. But, as I often remind myself, he is depressed and not in his right mind: he's paranoid, uncomfortable around people, immerses himself in TV on his computer where he can get all the channels, sometimes grumpy, and worst of all, jealous of imaginary people/events. He is STUCK and I can't pull him out alone. We are starting to talk about that, which is a good thing, because you can't change what you don't acknowledge (thank you Dr. Phil). I also have convinced him to start taking my Zoloft, and he is. Already, after a month, I notice a difference. Besides, my neuro prescribes 150 mg. daily for me and I can get by with 50 - especially if things are better with DH. So, what made today a good day you might ask? I got him to go out front and cut back the rhododendron that has been bl...

I went to see Julia and Julie this evening and while I enjoyed it I would put it in the "rent it" category. My friend paid for the tickets, which wasn't necessary, but she beat me to the window. We also met three of my sorority sisters there which was nice, until the end, when they left together (they came together in the same car), without saying goodbye. That was just plain rude, and I feel hurt by it. It's at moments like these that I realize that for as tough as I like to think I am, I really am quite sensitive. I want to say "Fuck em all..." but the pain of their slight is still there. And then I wonder - how much, if anything, does my having MS have to do with it. Thatis the only reason I could not walk out the door with them. I had to get up carefully, in the dark, on a slippery floor (someone spilled their popcorn), to get my walker and walk UP the ramp. By the time I got out the theater door, they were at the end of the hall and making their way ...

Isn't this the cutest pendant? I love it. In the Fall it's nice to wear something that is alive when all around you all is going dormant. It is part of a bogo offer, though the free one is much smaller, it is still charming. http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?t ransaction_id=19582077 Shared via AddThis But while I'm at it, I might as well plug my niece's shop which is also at Etsy, this is what I recently bought from her. Her shop is called LiciaBeads.com and she does some fine bead work there. So, you now have a taste of her fun jewelry. In addition to the beadwoven items, many much more complex than these, she does floral, wire wrapped, and gemstone jewelry. The TP was a special line and she is low in stock, so if you want some for gifts, you might want to let her know. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well, Webster

Take a look at these two lovely awards I received from my dear friend Herrad today (yesterday). The Most inspirational Blog Award, and ... the I Think you are an Awesome Girl Award. Thank You, Herrad. You are so sweet to think of me, especially when I haven't been writing much lately. Tomorrow, I will forward on the good will to some of my favorite reading material authors. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well PS: Oops, I forgot to pass these on. Will have to get to that soon.

Yesterday I got an E-mail from a sorority sister who occasionally sends (forwards) religious E-mails to large groups in her address book. Most of these are kind of cheesy, but well meaning, cutesy messages of good will, and God loves and protects us all, etc. etc. I have no problem with those. But this one had a short video attached (which I wouldn't post on my Blog even if I knew how) that proposes to prove that there is a message in the Bible that, get this, the Anti-Christ (A/C) is none other than ... Barack Obama. It points to parts of Scripture that reference the (A/C) bringing us all up to great heights (you know, the great temptor leading us to the fall), and then tries to make sense of these references by explaining that in ancient Hebrew, and in Aramaic before that, the languages in which the Bible was written, certain words that pointed to the A/C were pronounced "Ba rack O ba ma," leading us to believe that IT IS WRITTEN that our President is the AntiChrist. ...

Since the 16th, the day after we went to the Fair, though the weather has been pretty nice I haven't really done much. I've finished listening to the book Twenty Wishes by Debbie Macomber and I enjoyed it. I had a sorority meeting on the 17th; it being the first meeting after the Summer break, it was a Salad Supper. I did the easy thing - I brought dinner bread from Great Harvest. The written directions I had weren't correct so I ended up making two wrong turns before getting to the right street, and I remembered that the condo clubhouse was at the end of the road (which was not written down), so I got there just fine. Coming home, however, it was dark, and I got turned around; I wasn't lost, just going farther from home instead of closer to it! I don't know what to blame for that -- my eyes (lousy night vision), my MS addled brain, or simple unfamiliarity with the northwest part of town. I'm just glad it wasn't raining. And this reminds me that I have a r...

I don't know what the Daily Reviewer is or who it is they support and/or promote, but this little award was forwarded to me by Jaime. FWIW, I'll take the free publicity knowing deep to the core of my being that being in their "top 100" is absolutely without meaning. Anyway, there it is on the right, just beneath the Memory Mints. Jaime is in the process of undergoing a stem cell transplant with the hope that it will reverse the effects of her MS, or at the very least stop it in its tracks. Thanks for this, and I'm praying that this Halt MS Study works for you. change of subject line - that's all this is DH and I did the Puyallup today! The weather was lovely, sunny and maybe 76F. I paid an $11 admission and DH got in free for the priviledge of pushing me around. To get back, I make him pay for the parking which was $10, but only because he didn't always have to push me. Sometimes I'm perfectly capable of pushing myself, until I get tired, or have ...

I just went to see my PCP to have my blood work checked. Last year I was borderline anemic and my cholesterol was just over 200. Because I have been so darned cold all year, I wanted him to check for both anemia and thyroid. Lo and behold he told me my numbers were all normal. It's the MS playing with my temperature regulation. Suggestion? Socks and sweaters. Very practical, and yes, doable, though it seems a little geriatric wearing a fleece vest when its 68 degrees out. He called back later in the day to tell me that my Vitamin D level is just 11 -- normal is over 30! So he is calling in a script for Rx strength Vit D for me, and after that I will start taking a daily OTC capsule; we'll recheck it again in a month. He'll call tomorrow with my new cholesterol levels, and I will ask him about getting the flu shot which I completely forgot about at my visit. I've always avoided getting the shot because I never get the flu - - but my concern this year is that I have p...

They come, they go, they come, they go. Tonight they came and now they don't want to leave, the little bastards. I'm going to swallow another 40 mg of baclofen and put the dog out. Then I am going to go to bed. It is 4:30 A.M., after all. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well [Don't forget the hugs --------> ----------->]

There, I said it, I'm feeling guilty for not posting lately. Even though I have, right there in the sidebar, a Blogging Without Obligation gadget thingy, here I am feeling guilty. It's just that I don't have anything to write about. Perhaps, I kid you not, I should start carrying around a little notebook to write down the pithy little things that occasionally pop into my head to tell all y'all about. Lynn has been back in Yakima packing up the things she's really attached to. For someone who moves as often as she has been during these past ten years, it boggles my mind how much she has accumulated! Much of it will not be brought here, as there simply is no space for it. DH and I have been wondering to each other, well speculating really, how long she will actually live here. Her son promised the use of his regular sized pickup truck, only to be transferred to do training at another base in Georgia or So. Carolina or somewhere - so apparently he won't be around ...

DH had to throw the blackberries out today. They were fermenting. This is because he took them from the car and put them in front of the refrigerator in the garage. Not IN the refrigerator .... in FRONT of the refrigerator. Then nothing. Neither he nor Lynn went back out there to take care of them. In fairness Lynn was gone most of Sunday. I was crashed most of Sunday. But what ticks me off the most is what I just heard DH say regarding the pity of having to throw them out; He muttered "I didn't think it was my responsibility." Dear Lord, I so appreciate his support. At least he picks me up if I fall. I just had to get this off my chest. Good night, TTYL and Be Well

I went to the BBQ yesterday, and Lynn came with me. Another couple of sisters drove us, and we figured a simple way (well they did) to do something to the walker that made it MUCH easier to fit into a small trunk! We brought fruit salad, which Lynn made, and boy was there a lot of good food there! I ate a lot, and could have had more, but restrained. My sorority sister, where we had the BBQ lives in Buckley, and has a nice house on 40 acres; they have a greenhouse, a lovely vegetable garden, a big lawn that has lots of mole and/or gopher bumps on it, and a nice view of Mt. Rainier, though the mountain was not out for most of yesterday; most of the property is not developed. She took several groups on a little tour around on a little heavy duty open four-seater vehicle. They are building another hangar (I think they own five planes now!), and are going to dig out and expand a pond that is there on the property. She has blackberries growing all over in the woods, and after Lynn picke...

Today HSFR is ONE! Happy Birthday to my Blog! I never would have believed I'd make it through a full year of blogging that included two NaBloPoMo challenges. NaBloPoMo for the uninitiated is National Blog Posting Month wherein you register with them to take up the challenge to post every day for a month, either on a certain subject or not, your choice. Of course there were the other months that I posted much less often than everyday, like this month. But I also belong to BWO - Blogging Without Obligation - which takes the pressure off of keeping a blog. It offers much needed relief. As I have (often, I'm afraid) said, I still don't feel like I have much to offer here, but several of you readers who comment, tell me that you enjoy my blathering. So blather on, I will. ***** Lynn came over today instead of yesterday, and we spent the time ... not getting much done! Go figure. When she called me the other day she was pretty stressed out about this impending move, th...

Tuesday, the usuals and I went to lunch at the Chambers Bay Grill. I had a yummy grilled chicken sandwich on a Kaiser roll with lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, avocado and bacon. It was served with sweet potato fries which are delicious, and I had an "Arnold Palmer," which is an iced tea topped off with lemonade. Refreshing. I was late. It seems I'm always arriving late these days. I'm just not used to how much extra time it's taking me to get ready to leave the house! I can't tell if it's just me in the mornings, or the MS being slightly more problematic, or that I tend to dawdle more than I should. Maybe it's a combination of the three, but I'm getting a reputation! I was planning on skipping the sorority summer BBQ this Saturday, but we talked about it amongst ourselves at the table and I was offered a ride by our Chapter president, who is also bringing someone else. I'll let her know by Friday. Lynn is supposed to come tomorrow for a visi...

In 12 hours I will be at my GYNs office getting an annual checkup with all that that entails. Oh happy, oh joy. After, I will go to Trader Joe's for my once a month shopping trip there, and maybe to Great Harvest, too, as it's the 13th and I haven't used any food stamps yet. Lynn is planning to come for the weekend, and she thought maybe she'd paint my room! I don't think so. Many things need to happen before it's ready for fresh paint. Also, things have to happen upstairs before she can move in. Last time I talked with her she was all fine with a slow moving in process, and yesterday she seemed almost manic in her need to get everything done yesterday! I'm a little confused, but will take it as it comes. I suggested we go through some (many) books that need sorting. And make a trip to Sears to return a purchase and buy some vacuum bags. IMO the upstairs should be her priority, not my bedroom walls! Enough said about that. Our heat wave has been broken with ...

Don't be getting all excited. This is a special award for a special person who speaks the truth from her heart about difficult issues better than anyone I know. Herrad , this is for you. You have touched me in ways I cannot fathom, and I hope for lovely pain free days for you and Richie and Spike and Marlene. Be Well, Herrad. TTYL

In my last post I said that I was married in 1981. Well, no, I wasn't married, I was diagnosed with MS. I was diagnosed in June 1981 with transverse myelitis (because all my symptoms were below my neck) and not all in my head, as the first doctor I saw in May had told me. Yes, 1981 was the hottest year on record in our corner of the world where it usually rains. I remember sitting in the back yard in my wheelchair under the hawthorne t rees with the garden hose running, keeping my legs wet and cool. My neurologist had told me I had "probable MS ," but that TM was my official diagnosis. Alas, nobody told me that people with MS are sensitive to heat. It was no wonder that I did so poorly that first summer (well, actually the entire first year). I was married in 1987, on the hottest day of that year. I sure knew how to pick the day! It was my good great fortune that I was doing phenomenally better by then; the heat didn't faze me in 1987, even with the MS. I couldn...

It's a heat wave we're having here in the Pacific Northwest, and the last time we went five consecutive days above 90 degrees was in 1981. Yes, on the second day of that heat wave I was married in my parents' back yard. I was doing much better with my MS back then, but I'm sure I made it through the day due only to that extra rush of adrenaline that was coursing through my veins. Today, and the rest of the week, I have no such source of adrenaline, so it will be cooling vest time sitting in front of the fans. On top of it all, I've been having a few hot flashes, which to be fair, can only be characterized as warm surges when compared to those I have read about. I have been drinking water, iced water, a fruit smoothie, several iced chai (yum), and a tangerine soda that I got at Trader Joe's. So I am staying hydrated. My brother came over today and he and DH took the old mattress and box springs to the dump. YAY. Right now DH is vacuuming my room and putting in m...