Lynn's not coming to stay

I feel like it's the middle of the afternoon but it's really nearly 8 AM. That's what I get for staying up all night (well, with some light dozing in my chair) and finally going to bed after 1:00 PM! I lead a crazy life, yet not.

Last Wednesday, I stayed up all night as I had a lunch engagement with the girls at Noon, and I knew there was no way I would get up at 10:30 after five or six hours of sleep. So I did the next best thing: I stayed awake. I felt fine! And it has screwed me up all the days since! Are you tired of hearing about my weird sleep patterns yet? I should think you would be. So on to other news.

Lynn got home from Ghana without problems. She came over Friday to tell me that instead of coming to live here, a friend of hers in Port Angeles rented a cabin for her just North of Sequim. It's a one-room cabin, and she was moving the next day.

Needless to say I am disappointed, as she never gave this living situation a chance, not having stayed for more than five days in a row (which she did once) since June. But what's done is done. Now she's all anxious for me to come up there to visit, and "there's enough room for you to get around, well, not with your walker but with your crutch you'll do fine. Every thing's close so there's always something to hang onto." Lovely for one, but ... I don't know.

I guess I just am not feeling well enough, strong enough, to put out extra effort that two years ago I wouldn't have given a second thought to. Also, I am feeling somewhat abandoned by her - we had such plans that we never had a chance to make a reality. First there was all the logistics of getting her over from Yakima, then all the drama of her living with Linda, then Linda's knee surgeries, then the trip to Africa which is where she was when she got the call about the cabin. She never discussed it with me. It was a done deal when she came home. Right now, her family is glad to see her -- but if history repeats, as it usually does, she's going to find living alone in a little cabin startlingly lonely. But that's a disappointed me talking.

I was looking forward to going for long walks, to showing her some parts of the city she hasn't seen, to taking the bus to Seattle to see the Christmas lights, to cooking together, to putting up Christmas decorations and listening to Christmas music. Now getting any of that to happen will be like pulling the teeth out of my depressed husband; especially all the Christmas stuff -- what's the point? No one here but us, and it's too much work for just us. Case in point: he came in to wake me at 4 PM Sunday and he didn't even tell me it was snowing! He asked what time I went to bed, and left me to sleep when I told him. I would have gotten up to watch snow! I always do. But I wasn't even given the chance. Argh!

So, this week I'll make sure he does the right loads of laundry so I'll have the right colored warm things to wear to my ESA Christmas party this Thursday. I need to write out a card for each sister (there are 28!); I need to gather a few warm things and get some canned goods to give to the less fortunate (I have a coat and a newly crocheted hat). We need to go to the store for groceries, and to the dollar store for a BIG Christmas gift bag for my Secret Santa gift.

So this week I live for Thursday. Each day I'll do something so that day won't totally stress me out. Next week I'll worry about next week.

Good night, TTYL and Be Well