halt stop forget relax

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ! This one looks just like my little Nishita. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well

What is it they say about the third time? OH! It's a charm. Well, we'll see about that. I've written this entry twice, and even added some (lousy) pictures, then punched something and they disappeared. POOF! Is this some kind of Halloween joke? That was yesterday, and now I have only a vague idea what I wrote. I think it was this. Quite some years ago my neurologist put me on Zoloft. I started at 50 mg. which did nothing for me so we upped it to 100 mg. and after another three weeks I noticed a big difference. At the time I was still working part time, and bought my books. I kept them in two piles - already read, and to be read. The to be read pile seemed always to be three times as tall as the already read pile. It was the story of my life at that time. Poor concentration, lack of interest, ennui. But three weeks of 100 mg, Zoloft and I went to get a book from the pile, and noticed that they had switched! I had read more books than were waiting to be read. Cut to se...

Webster, thy name is Pokey. Over the course of the past week I have been given not one, but two, Gratitude with Attitude awards. Thank you very much to Weeble Girl and to Ms. ME for thinking of and appreciating my fledgling blog. I have noticed that this award has been making the rounds of the MS blogs, and I am honored to have received, again, not one, but two, of them. In case you haven't seen it, here it is: from Weeble Girl - AMENDED 11/6 TO ADD: http://messystuffalifewithms.blogspot.com/ It's So CUTE! Now, this award comes with rules. To wit: * Put the logo on your blog or post. * Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude! * Be sure to link to your nominees within your post. * Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog. * Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award. Well here's the thing. I'm not real big on rules. I'd like to put my award in a permanent...

I recently completed two research studies. The NARCOMS registry, and the UW Assessment of Physical Functioning. It's odd. Both studies' first question was How would you rate your health in the past ten days/ 30 days? A aaaaaaand I had to say, not Excellent, but Very Good. This because I don't feel bad. I don't get sick. I don't get headaches. Or fevers. Or, lately apparently, even bladder infections. I don't get the flu. I don't catch colds. I can't remember the last time I threw up. Oh wait, yes I can, but that was food poisoning I gave to myself. Note to self: don't leave spinach dip out on the counter all day to nosh on. So, while I am in Very Good Health, it remains that I can barely get around. I can't walk up a flight of stairs with ease. I can't carry groceries. Turning over in bed is sometimes difficult. The list goes on. The studies don't accurately take into consideration the meds that we take to get by. NARCOMS focussed on spa...

I don't have much to offer you tonight, even though it has been almost a week since I've posted. I just watched the debates for President and Governor, and neither changed my mind. I will be voting for Obama/Biden and for Chris Gregoire. I've held my own this week, having had no other episodes of weakness like I had last week. I am attributing it to the cath. change I had that day. Sometimes just doing that can jiggle around little pockets, for lack of a better word, of "infected" urine, thus giving me the temporary symptom of a full blown infection. Since that night however, I have had no symptoms, and I never spiked a temp. Also, the office hasn't called to tell me I need to take an antibiotic - but that doesn't necessarily mean anything, because the back office there has some organizational issues. Yesterday, on my way to the grocery store I stopped in, quite spontaneously, to get my hair trimmed. I am growing my bangs out and so haven't had a hairc...

I don't know what yesterday's bout of weakness was about, but so far today I am functioning back at baseline. Which is to say not great, but I know what I am able to do, and can do it without trepidation. I have to say, Hubs is very attentive when things go wrong like that. He's great to have around, and as much as I may complain about him, I love that man dearly. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well

Today I actually finished all I set out to do: I got my cath changed, picked up my prescriptions, took a side trip to Dairy Queen unnecessarily, mailed my bills, went to Trader Joe's for coffee and chips, and returned/picked up books from the library. When I went to the bathroom at the library I ran into a bit of "trouble." I could barely get up from the toilet. It took all my strength, but I finally managed to make it out to the car. Then I discovered I couldn't stand tall enough to get the walker into the back seat! Here I was in the parking lot behind the fire station and not a damn fireman in sight to help me. So I just sat awhile in the front seat for a rest. I managed to get the deed done and I drove home. Now I'm in my garage, and at home where I typically use a forearm crutch to get around, but I couldn't get up out of the car! So I laid on the horn a few times to alert my husband - but he didn't hear me (we have a detached garage). Finally I ...

Well, I don't want to disappoint anyone, but at least for the time being I am still going to write to the "ether." You know, the unknown masses. It's easier for me that way - to write for just myself - to vent to nobody - to pretend total anonymity. So while I really appreciate your comments, I probably won't always respond to them. Just sayin' don't take it personally. Okay? But two followers, and I haven't been up a whole month yet! So. That said - I've been thrown a curve ball today. The presidential debate is starting, and I don't want to miss it. This is the most exciting election I can remember. There is such a need for change from what has happened to our country in the past eight years, and while I liked McCain in 2000, I don't feel he is the same man. He's been changed by the Republican Party. And I can't even fathom a President Sarah Palin. But that's my opinion. Just make sure you vote your conscience. I say I've ...

I saw my neurologist on Monday, feeling shitty and hoping for drugs to make me feel, well energized , for lack of a better word - but I struck out on that note. The 'roids are reserved for sudden onset symptoms, which mine aren't. However he did suggest I go back on my Zoloft and actually up the dose to 150mg. Well, nothing ventured I guess, so it's worth a try. Plus I'm to try something different in my routine so I don't miss so many shots, like perhaps giving them in the AM instead of at bedtime. I looked over my calendar and found I have been missing four to 11 shots a month! I know ! I've been so bad. Just shoot me will you? At the end of the exam he always has us do the "25 foot walk" which he times. He told me I did it a full second faster than last March. Take that Usain Bolt! I took my car in for its ($15) emissions inspection and ... IT PASSED! Yay car! Twenty years old and still running sorta okay. Now for the tabs it will be another $50 in ...

I don't know why I am still awake. Well yes I do, I'm a freak, but I think since it is so late, I'd better make this a very short entry. When I sat down to write this I didn't know what I was going to say, so I just started looking around and found a couple of MS blogs and started reading. Well, you can imagine what that led to: About three hours wasted! But I found several new blogs I probably will enjoy following. They are more articulate than I am, and pursue treatment more aggressively than I do, and are younger and/or less disabled than I am - but we are more alike than we are different. Since I haven't mastered Blogspot's finer points (I'll use my ON flaring up as an excuse for that), you can find them at the bottom of my profile. Good Night, TTYL and Be Well

Earlier this week Hubs and I went down to the newish Chambers Bay Golf Course (1 year old) to check out the sunset. What we were surprised (and delighted) to find was that has a paved walkway perfect for wheelchairs, dog walkers, skateboarders, and the like. We went Tuesday with the idea of checking the place out, which we did, and saw a fabulous sunset in the process. We decided to come back on Wednesday, stopping to pick up a Subway sandwich on the way. It was another spectacular sunset, and I am sorry I didn't think to being our cheapie camera to get pictures for you. I'll see if I can go find some elsewhere. I left and returned without. Yes I could have fudged with a different sunset, but what's the fun in that - though as you can see I did find a picture of where we were and where we strolled. Anyway, our evening started out on a bad note - Hubs was running late again. It made me mad that, though we were in time for sundown, we didn't have time for a stroll in th...

I watched Madame Pomphrey at the Claremont tonight (netflix) and I really enjoyed it. There was one scene that resonated with me. Mme P. and her "grandson" L. were talking mostly about nothing, then started taking one of those magazine quizzes about relationships. L. noticed that all of her answers were connected to her relationship with him, and not other people in her life, the dialogue went like this: L.: Not just me! M.P.: There isn't anyone else at the moment. You're the only one I can think of! L: I haven't many friends myself -- one needs money to have friends. They've all got cars, and jobs. M.P.: One shouldn't let one's friends slip away. L.: There's very little I can do about it. Well, it struck me that that's exactly how I feel. I have no extra money. At all. I can barely afford to go out to lunch once a month with "the girls." And I don't drive anywhere I don't need to - to save on gasoline. I have noticed a ...

My title came from this poem which encourages us all to slow down. I liked it long before MS made me slow down; I was really into e.e. cummings when I was in high school. No, it's not that I was so much in a hurry pre-MS, but MS did put the brakes on for me. Stop! My life as I knew it had changed; but that was then and this is now. 10 little man (in a hurry full of an important worry) halt stop forget relax wait (little child who have tried who have failed who have cried) lie bravely down sleep big rain big snow big sun big moon (enter us) e.e.cummings no thanks Good night, TTYL and Be Well

I was at Fred Meyer's yesterday, and near the doorway they had a display of University of Washington clothing items, including a heavyweight hooded sweatshirt in my size, for 25% off. But my calculations told me that $50 minus 25% plus 8.8% tax comes to $40.88, and that is more than I have to spend on a heavyweight sweatshirt that says WASHINGTON across the chest. Good Night, TTYL, and Be Well

Good Night, TTYL, and Be Well.

I don't know where the underline came from, and I don't know how to get rid of it - It was not my doing. I am not trying to be as emphatic as all that! So, I told you about the mm. spasms I was having last Wednesday, but guess what? I had them again Thursday, and Friday, and oh yes, on Saturday too! Always in the late evening when I want to tilt back and relax. Let me tell you a secret nobody knows - MS sux. Sunday was the family BBQ at my cousins' at Ocean Shores. Well, not at their house , but at a park two blocks away from it. I opted not to take the W/C, and it was just as well because I would not have been able to propel myself around on the lumpy grassy grounds of the park. It was enough just to deal with the walker. I had plenty of offers of help, but really, what could anyone have done to make it easier for me? Nothing. I swung a bit on the swing set there and was surprised at how dizzy it made me feel. What a wimp I've become! I felt like I was stoned Speakin...

Damned if my legs aren't jumping and hurting like hell again tonight. Already I've taken 60mg. of baclofen, and am just about to swallow another 20. Gulp. There - now I wait to see if the pain subsides. I chatted with my cousin tonight and E-mailed my SIL, and we will be going together to the family BBQ at Ocean Shores Sunday. SIL will drive to my house from Seattle, and cousin will pick is both up (along with my W/C and walker and we will try to leave Tacoma at 10 AM so we will get there around Noon. The weather is forecast to be 70 in Tacoma, so I expect it to be about ten degrees cooler on the coast, perhaps with a breeze, perhaps with a shower or two. So it sounds to me like a day to layer with some fleece. I was so wishing for a nice day to be at the ocean. Oh well, I guess I will just suck it up and put on my happy face Good night, TTYL and Be Well

My legs are having some painful spasms tonight, so I don't feel like writing much. The Olympics are over and have been replaced by the Democratic Convention. I thought Michelle Obama gave a lovely speech to "introduce" her husband. I'm afraid I didn't see all of the broadcast because I can take just so much of things political, then I say "Okay, that's enough!" and change the channel or turn off the TV. Today, I went to Cost Less and picked up my Copaxone, then treated myself to a small strawberry cheesecake blizzard at DQ, then went to Albertson's for eight pieces of their fried chicken - about four meals worth which I will freeze. That is all. I'm now going to bed. Goodnight, TTYL and Be Well.

As promised, here are some photos Hubs took about a year ago of the patio and back yard. These are the adirondack chairs my Dad made for us so many years ago. The Fuchsia and Begonia wintered over, but due to the cold spring they are coming on much slower this year. These pots in the corner? Mostly empty of blooms this year, save for some Dianthus and Snaps that came up. Back to the table where I usually enjoy coffee and reading and sunshine. The blue Salvia in the whale pot is blooming this year. Behind the table is the above ground pond with the two water lilies that I showed you yesterday. And a little bit more to the right are some more pots. This year one has white snaps that came up, but that's about it except for a few weeds. Oh - Meet Beulah, our old blind Basset Hound. She has a bad habit of eating our annuals - she's sniffing out a snack for later (after dark) here. And even more to the right, behind the pots is our small pond. The lady plante...

This entry is an example of circuitous reasoning. Today was a nice day - I once again spent some time outside on the patio. Here's the patio. I was in that chair to the right having a banana-strawberry smoothie. Nishita came by meowing for food, jumping on my lap for lovies, then plopping on the table for a belly rub. She's only this friendly when she wants in for a snack. Purnima, too, came by. I think I've been ignoring her lately while I've been busy setting up this Blog while watching the Olympics, thus keeping my lap out of commission. She usually ignores me when she's outdoors, but she jumped on the table today, too, needing to be touched. Animals! This is the above-ground pond that is behind the table. It's about 14 feet long and table height, though the pond itself is not quite that deep. It is planted with two white waterlilies, and some anacharus, and... I think that's all -- enough greenery to keep it healthy as it doesn't have a pump fo...