halt stop forget relax

Let me interject here that this was the time that the city was doing an 'Urban Renewal' project on the QA rec center and playfield. The playfield at that time was nothing more than a city block of dirt; even the young football players called their playoff games the Dirt Bowl (lol)(j/k). It was surrounded by a cyclone fence with several openings placed at two of the corners and two others at odd places. I was familiar with this field; I grew up playing softball there as a child. In the Summer I would to the rec center often. Also, the houses on the block between 2nd and 3rd West, Blaine and Howe streets were due to be razed, and most were uninhabited. And because the new Worth McClure Jr. High was built just north of the rec. center, there were several streets that didn't go straight through. Okay, let's get back to my story. The kids' voices I heard were the last few to leave the center when it closed and by the time I got to the field they were nearing the f...

It was 1969 and I was in ninth grade. One afternoon I walked up to the neighborhood pharmacy to browse through the magazines: Seventeen, Glamour, the usual sstuff that appeals to a 14 year old girl. When I glanced at my watch I thought, "I am going to get it. Now it's dark out and I will be late for dinner." So I hurried out of the store saying a quick Goodbye over my shoulder to Mrs. Dalton and started to walk home. My first block was on Queen Anne Avenue in front of the upper QA Safeway, I where near the far end of the block (and parking lot) when a guy said from his parked car, "Hey, do you want a ride?" I glanced up and politely replied, "No, thanks," and continued on my way. One block further, I was in front of the QA Thriftway, when again, at the end of the block ( and the end of the parking lot) the same guy was parked and yelled out of his window, "Are you sure you don't want a ride?" I stopped, looked up at him and said ...

pardon the absence of most caps, but mt typing sucks more than usual lately so i'm going to go all e.e.cummings on you. I was nearing the end of my two week stay at st.joe's last July when the night nurse came by and woke me up (naturally) to take my vitals. my stay started out in the ER, and from there I went to the second floor, then the fourth, the fifth and finally the tenth. oddly enough, this was the oncology unit, but it was there that a bed was available. lucky me; and i mean that leterally. it turns out to have been a quite fortuitous room change. now, I have never been much of a sunrise lover, for two reasons I think. 1. I'm a night owl by nature and am never awake that early, and 2. I've never lived in a place that had a good viewpoint facing east. my room on the tenth floor faced due east, and on that morning I was treated to sight I can remember vividly even today -- the most magnificent sight I have ever set eyes upon. last summer was a s...

Rabbit rabbit. More later. I have to compose a post. I am goinng to try to ppost once a week. Let's see if I can make that happen. Good Night, TTYL, and Be Well,

Nearly needless to say, it isn't amounting to much. According to our thermometer, it's about 24◦ out, and there was no precipitation forecasted. I am not expecting this ---> Nor this: Both of these were made in 1989. I think our last snow that was worthy of snowmen was in 1992. I know. . . sux to be me. But this snow is not predicted to last. I expect the rain to return before nightfall. Good day, TTYL, and Be Well,

Stop The Cavalry by: Jona Lewie Lyrics: Hey, Mr. Churchill comes over here To say we're doing splendidly But it's very cold out here in the snow Marching to and from the enemy Oh, I say it's tough, I have had enough Can you stop the Cavalry? I have had to fight, almost every night Down throughout these centuries That is when I say, oh yes, yet again Can you stop the Cavalry? Mary Bradley waits at home In the nuclear fall-out zone Wish I could be dancing now In the arms of the girl I love Dub a dub a dum dum Dub a dub a dum Dub a dum dum dub a dum Dub a dub a dum Dub a dub a dum dum Dub a dub a dum Dub a dum dum dub a dum Dub a dub a dum Wish I was at home for Christmas Bang, that's another bomb on another town While Hussar and Jim have tea If I get home, live to tell the tale I'll run for all presidencies If I get elected I'll stop, I will stop the Cavalry Dub a dub a dum dum Dub a dub a dum Dub a dum dum dub a dum ...

And I say, "Good riddance." It wasn't so bad after all. My brother bought the ham and the rolls, which he brought over a couple of days earlier. DH didn't finish cleaning/ decorating until the wee hours of the morning, and he didn't put the Christmas table cloth on before he quit. Then he didn't actually fall asleep until about 11:00 AM. So it was surprising that he awoke with a start at a quarter to five on Christmas day with so much left to do. After all, he put me to bed around 6:30 AM, and I didn't fall asleep right away, and heard him puttering. Turns out that G and her son didn't make it either. She said today that she fell fast asleep and slept all day. She needed it after five weeks with no days off. Today she told me her next day off won't be until March! I figure she'll be near useless come Groundhog Day. My other brother came over for a visit just after he woke up. He stayed for a cup of coffee then got home to his own din...

"this is the song of mehitabel mehitabel the alley cat ... she claims that formerly her spirit was incarnated in the body of cleopatra ... and now she herds with bums" -archy [ archy and mehitabel by don marquis ©1927] (!@#$%^&*) Actually, I haven't been herding with anybody lately, except DH and G (my care worker). I came home on Sep. 1 and here I sit, alone, again, naturally. I have made it to my Sorority meetings this fall, and to my doctor appointments; and on occasion to the grocery store - other than that I don't get out much. I don't go anywhere, I don't do anything. We had a nice Thanksgiving here; we were joined by my brother and G and her son and his girlfriend. I don't know if we are going to do this again for Christmas or not. I would like to, but DH doesn't seem much into it. I just hate to see another holiday go by where we don't celebrate. It sux. We used to do them up so well. Decorations galore ... b...

i have been reduced to one finger typing, and a shaky finger it is. as a result i have foresworn capital letters. my summer in both the hospital and rehab center have left me severely compromised MS-wise; first, i'm having difficulty swallowing without choking unless i really focus on proper technique -- chin up opens the esophagus, so chin down properly closes it, so chin down it is to properly swallow. second, i am also having more memory problems which i already wrote about; both short term and slightly longer term. third, i have optic neuritis, now in both eyes! and finally, i also have contracted c-diff, a notoriously difficult bacterial infection of the gut. luckily for me i have a mild case; this antibiotic i'm on is slowly being titrated down, which won't be done until february. my neuro says i can't take any steroids until i am off antibiotics -- so basically i'm screwed! good day, ttyl, and be well, webster

"i do get my dates mixed sometimes  think of how much i had a chance to forget"* DH recently recounted something from our distant past, some 28 years ago, and I swear I was not privy to that conversation,  so who is correct, him or me? There is no way of knowing for sure.   (This would be long term memory loss.) DH tells me to do something on the computer, then leaves the room, and I turn to my laptop, take a sip of coffee, go to the website and have no fucking idea what I am supposed to  do now that I'm there. (This could be recent memory loss.) Sometimes I am discussing something with someone and I hear a distracting bit of information elsewhere in the room (TV,  radio, any distraction) and I don't know what I was saying. (This would be short term memory loss.) Another turn of that same coin is starting to say something and simply losing my train of thought "Oh well, it'll come to me sooner or later." Then there's that darned prob...

Every meal I have had here has been, to put it in a word, awful.  I mean, seriosly , who the fuck can eat this shit? In the beginning I complained to my therapists, PT, OT and Speech, who always asked, "How was lunch, or dinner?" seemingly making comversation. I didn't realise they were reporting back to the head dietian every word I said!  Then the manager comes to visit me (not once, but twice) and asks how I like the meals --  what am I supposed to say?  That they suck?  No. I tell her that they are a far cry from what I am used to - which is true, and then I further soften it by telling her that I understand that she has to cook on a budget, and I don't expect organic food here, and she has to do what she has to do. What I didn't say and what I do expect is to get what I ordered from the menu. Oh, how I wish I had kept all of the lunch and dinner daily lists that came with my food. I swear there was a mistake on every single one of them! There were ite...

I  don't know how I will get there, whether by car or Shuttle, those are details to be worked out by othes, all I know is that I am getting out of here. Alive. I want some real food; I want to make a smoothie. Hell. I'll even put some whey into it to add some protein. I went head to head with a nurse today about adding whey to my diet. I asked her what they were going to put it in, and she had no answer. Juice, I offered? Or perhapss the Glucerna? (like Ensure).  So I declined. She had me fill out a form saying why I declined. On the form it said that by not taking the whey, my protein levels would go down. I told her that was not true -- that my protein levels would stay the same. She changed it, but didn't like being questioned (or corrected). I suppose I could have put it in my yogurt, but I kind of like being contentious. Damn, I'm glad I have (some of) my wits about me again.  Now I just have to work on getting stonger muscles. Good Day, TTYl, and Be Well, ...

Thus goes the story of my life. . . In my last entry, far too long ago, I warned you of the problems that can be caused by edema; most notably edema of the feet combined with tight fitting shoes which is what landed me straight into the arms of Dr. S at the Wound Clinic and on to her protocol of "no weight bearing" for the last 10+ months. MS is hard enough to deal with by itself; managing the secondary issues makes it all that much more difficult. My journey into this 'short-term rehab' facility began with a Staphylococcus aureus infection in the pressure sore in my right foot that migrated to the bone. At the same time I had a persistant UTI. Skip back to the afternoon of July 17. For the previous 20 hours or so, DH was worrying, taking my temperature, my pulse, and watching me sleep the sleep of the dead, until he finally tried to get me up and saw that I was slurring my words and not making much sense. My temperature was low for me at 95.5. My pulse rate w...

If I had only known then what I know now. Last Summer in the PNW was a warm one. Warm weather often leads to a swelling of the feet for me, and so it was last year. I had bought some cute slip on gatas from Land's End. They were made of a light weight canvas, and were not stretchy at all. I noticed, when I took them off at night, that there was a big imprint on my foot where the shoe had been. That puffiness on my foot was edema. It never occurred to me what kind of damage this was doing. I had noticed that the balls of my feet were sore during the day, but after having learned to sublimate pain that comes with muscle spasms over the 30+ years I have lived with MS, I just accepted the pain, not giving it much thought. What was happening, however, was that I was getting pressure sores on the balls of my feet that were cause by the swelling.  When I went to see a Dr. for something un-related, I mentioned the pain, and she examined my feet. The next thing I knew, I was referred t...

Hello dear readers; I hope I haven't lost all of you as it has been so long since I have posted anything. My thought was, if I don't have anything good to say, better not to say anything at all ... but that leaves me here trying to catch you all up on my current situation in which not all is bad. (Now wait a few minutes while I refresh my memory on what you already know - I'll be back in a few...) All right, then. So, in January I started getting a chore worker for 66 hours a month. I started out with Gayle, who stayed with me until the end of the month when she had to leave because of a paperwork snafu. In February, while she was gone, her replacement was Joanna who was young and clueless about the job. She would silently walk into where I was and just stand there. I would look up and say, "What do you need, Joanna?" "I just wanted to know what you wanted me to do next." "Well, take your pick: you could dust, vacuum, find  some laundry and put...

I forgot to take my memory mint today, so, I'll post it again, likely with changes. Biggest joke (and disappointment) -- MS drugs. They are all "disease modifying" and not "disease stopping."  I guess there's no money in finding a cure for MS. Biggest rip-off - Ampyra.  This was available before the pharmaceutical company got hold of it and tweaked its formula to call it its own so they could charge $1200 a month for it instead of the original $40 or so when it was 3,4-AP [aminopyradine] and you had it made at a compounding pharmacy. [was that a run-on sentence or what?]  Also,  it was hard to get a Dr. to give you an Rx for it then, too. Wonder why? Biggest joy - Ella Minnow Pea. This was a totally delightful book an I still recommend it. Biggest Good-for-Me - Continuing  to do Zentangle despite my shaky and numb fingers.  I can see the difference from two years ago! Also am having some ON issues. Aaargh! Biggest  Obstacle - MS, and al...

Today, the day that sha ll remain "in inf amy," my computer went to bl ackscreen a t the auspicio us time of High Noon.  It is only because we retained my first la ptop that I bought i n 2000 (or so) , a Dell Inspiron 8000, that I am able to post at all. I ha ve, at leas t tempora rily, lost everythi ng -- and I can't tell you when I l a st ran a b a ck-up , becaus e that's not my job; I don't "ge t" computers a nd don't know of such things, and the powers tha t be , while adept at, say, gett ing this old thing to keep on working as our f a ll - back 'puter, isn't so current on ma intaining my other one. Life sucks; MS sucks, and I 've just dropped a bo a t-load of money on two new pair of eyegla sses. Sea rs d oesn't h ave the offers they used to. In s tead of letting me use my old regular frames for my new r eaders , they ha ve changed all of their len s-shapes so that you have to move on to a newly shap ed frame -- also...

  Yeah, that. Now, in addition to having pressure sores on the bottoms of my feet (which are getting  smaller with time), my tiny sores on my bum have morphed into one larger sore which, while not actually meeting Medicare requirements for the medical equipment they should have dispensed to people with worsening MS, but didn't, I now have  shown at least enough progression that my Medicare Supplement Policy has agreed to buy me a semi-electric hospital bed with an APP mattress, a RoHo cushion for this piece of shit chair, and a Hoyer lift.  Now the bed and mattress will allow me to lie on my side, relieving the pressure, and when I am back on my feet, the seat will be very welcome, though I am not sure how much time I will be "allowed" to sit each day. They should be here before 2 P.M. today. Can't wait, though my bedroom will need some major moving of dressers etc. before I can reclaim it as my own. 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888...

HAPPY FALL EVERYBODY! Isn't it amazing how fast it has made it through this season? I used to love kicking though the leaves that weren't swept up on the sidewalks, and collecting horse chestnuts and buffing them to a nice shine. When I was a kid I planted several right next to the side of our house, and my Mom got mad at me because by then then, in one year, they were two feet tall! At least they were easy to pull out. 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 I've had a rough patch lately with more optic neuritis. This is impacting both my blogging and my reading of all those mysteries and 1000 books DH loaded on my laptop.Talk about bad timing. Fortunately I have had the occasional day when the ON abates and I can read or do the Zen thing,  but I have to be careful because I am also noticing a bit of double vision. My MS sucks for sure. Right now I am working on a 9x11 piece which I plan to mat and frame to hang somewhere; perhaps in the...

Ever want to say, "Whoa, Willy!!"? Me, too. Life hasn't been kind to me lately, and it's not the MS I'm talking about. It's my new chair, and it's Medicare, and it's sales people who don't really give a damn, and it's Drs. who let orders sit on their desks because they are too busy to catch up on their paperwork which I imagine is tremendous. Well, MS did play its part in the story, I guess, because without it I wouldn't need the chair in he first place, now would I? But it now plays just a bit part in this drama. I have needed this chair for quite some time, at least according to my E-mail records, going back well over a year now, in 2012 when I was trying to get ahead of the game and getting a mobility assessment from a PT and being taken too literally from my doctor  (my PCP) who took me off that year-long list after I expressed my upset wait for one. [talk about a run-on sentence!] Really? And now she treats me just l...