Re: Support Groups- pro/con

This is a little snippet I wrote a long, long, long time ago (circa 1983) regarding support groups.

Heidi, newly diagnosed with probable MS, had never met anyone else with MS before she came in to do a project for school which entailed volunteering at the MS office. We were preparing the monthly newsletter for a bulk mailing. It was manual work - labeling and sorting and bundling. There were several of us gathered at a large table chatting away as we worked.

Once there she met the three of us -- all with different personalities and levels of disability. The scooter one of us used didn't seem so frightening with a real person in it -- someone who was married, happily, and who talked about her family as she worked. The crutches another used lay unnoticed on the floor. Heidi would see beyond the disease to the individuals, and the MS became, somehow, less powerful. Later, when previewing a video from the chapter's library, she was struck by the fact that everyone in it had MS, and their concerns were her concerns. It helps to know you're not alone.

But sometimes, even a "bad" support group can be good. When I was newly diagnosed in 1981, a group I attended was of the "woe is me" variety. There was plenty of doctor-bashing, and self-righteous unsolicited advice-giving. There was not, however, any laughter.

I remember that we had a potluck social gathering at my house once, and although most every person participated generously, bringing homemade dishes that took effort and time to prepare, they left out an important ingredient: Mirth. There was no joy as we partook of our repast, it just seemed there was a pallor to the group. And though I had had MS less than six months, and I was physically more debilitated than any of these folks (I used a w/c full time then), I realized on that lovely balmy autumn evening that I would be okay with this disease. Why? Because I had more enthusiasm in my little finger than the rest of the group had, combined.

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So, on that note, I missed support group today because the topic didn't appeal to me, and to be honest, I wasn't ready to get up. Tomorrow I have to go to the Spring State Meeting, and I have to be there on time for registration which is 7:30-8:30 AM. My plan is to get up at 6:15 AM [I. know.] and be out of the garage by 7:00; stop at McDonald's drive-thru for a cup of coffee and an egg McMuffin on the way, and get there on time. I plan to pack and have DH put my things in the car tonight. I have a checklist: change of clothes, night bag, some makeup, brush/toiletries, script, noose, and halo.A

See you on the flip side.