Forgetfulness
Being forgetful is one of my more frustrating symptoms of MS. My B&B issues are bad, as is my limited walking distance, and my spasticity; but as troublesome as each of those is, the forgetfulness leeches the most from my quality of life.
It eases its way into most every conversation I try to have with my husband. However, oddly enough, it never seems as problematic when I am talking with other people. That could be an issue with the Y chromosome, with the marriage certificate, with our astrological signs (I am a Leo, he is a Taurus), or even with our personality types (we are both INFP on the Myers Briggs, which is, oddly enough, the least common of the 16 types at 1 to 4%). Whichever it is, it is frustrating to be unable to have a decent discussion about, well, anything, with him.
It gets in the way with friends, too, but those discussions are, by their nature, more discursive, which is why it usually causes fewer problems. One area where it gets bad is when discussing books and movies. I can never remember the character's names, or the plot line, or anything about the book or movie, unless... UNLESS I am prompted! That's right. If I am prompted, I will remember. Maybe I won't remember names, but I can explain who someone was, and what happened, and wasn't that just so weird, or funny, or perplexing.
Also, I have found that it is easier to "train" my friends how to carry on these discussions, simply by telling them what it is that I need them to do for me. They seem a little more willing to assist me in the conversation than my husband is. What's up with that?
That's all I can remember to say about that right now. If I think about some more, I'll come back and add it.
Good Night, TTYL and Be Well,
It eases its way into most every conversation I try to have with my husband. However, oddly enough, it never seems as problematic when I am talking with other people. That could be an issue with the Y chromosome, with the marriage certificate, with our astrological signs (I am a Leo, he is a Taurus), or even with our personality types (we are both INFP on the Myers Briggs, which is, oddly enough, the least common of the 16 types at 1 to 4%). Whichever it is, it is frustrating to be unable to have a decent discussion about, well, anything, with him.
It gets in the way with friends, too, but those discussions are, by their nature, more discursive, which is why it usually causes fewer problems. One area where it gets bad is when discussing books and movies. I can never remember the character's names, or the plot line, or anything about the book or movie, unless... UNLESS I am prompted! That's right. If I am prompted, I will remember. Maybe I won't remember names, but I can explain who someone was, and what happened, and wasn't that just so weird, or funny, or perplexing.
Also, I have found that it is easier to "train" my friends how to carry on these discussions, simply by telling them what it is that I need them to do for me. They seem a little more willing to assist me in the conversation than my husband is. What's up with that?
That's all I can remember to say about that right now. If I think about some more, I'll come back and add it.
Good Night, TTYL and Be Well,
Oooh, yes, I can relate. In fact, just last night I was having dinner with my parents and husband, and we were all talking about a movie **that I'd seen not 6 months ago.** Even with repeated and increasing in volume (as if that would help) descriptions of the plot, characters, actors' names/appearance, I could not remember anything about the movie, although I did sort of remember that I'd seen it. So very annoying. Getting older and having MS is a delightful combination.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is. Just now, DH asked me if I had seen any of the Star Trek movies in the theatre. "I doubt it," I said; "I saw Star Wars, and Alien - but not Star Trek." Then he countered with I am SURE we must have seen it together.
DeleteIf he's so SURE, then why is he asking ME??? As if I care about Star Trek. Sheez.
I wonder if the forgetful thing is MS or something you're just predisposed to do plus you're not getting any younger?
ReplyDeleteI know that as I have gotten a little older my forgettery is working better than my remembery!
It's funny, our spouses, the ones who promised to love, honor, cherish... they're the ones that give us the most crap. :)
Ami, in my case it is mostly the MS that is affecting my cognition; the age factor just exacerbates it. And you're so right about the spouses giving us the most crap. I just try to give back as much as I get. It seems the right thing to do.
DeleteMy Hubber's has a bad memory too, so our conversations are pretty much limited to..."oh you know, what's his name, in that movie about the thingy that we watched last week." Or something similar.
ReplyDeleteLOL. If that's what works, then you're communicating!
DeleteFortunately, I have been spared that symptom -- my memory works fine. UNfortunately, my husband is becoming forgetful --- not the dementia kind [yet] but the annoying, not-paying-enough-attention kind. I only give him one instruction at any given time because he'll forget any other ones. It's like having an ADD kid in class -- you really need to give him special attention.
ReplyDeletePeace,
Muff
Muff, my memory is like a sieve, my husband seems to think he remembers everything. Truth is, he only has a very good but selective memory; and he's getting to be a space case, which is a whole 'nother subject. Most often I just try to ignore him. (lqtm = laughing quietly to myself)
DeleteOK K doe K, I thought I had left a response already but guess not. I to have the lapse of memory thing going on. I am lucky that my friends get it and prompt me or in some way remind me of what I had started to say or what others have said.
DeleteMakes forming new friendships a tad hard.
It is such a difficult symptom. It drives my teenage daughter's crazy when they have to repeat things to me.... and it is always perplexing the things I do remember and the things I don't... such a mysterious disease.
ReplyDeleteHi Webster! Hope you're well.
ReplyDeleteJen